Did Abraham Lincoln indulge in criticism?

 

Today I am going to tell you a incident of Abraham Lincoln's life that changed his methodology of dealing with peoples.This incident is taken from Dale Carnegie's best selling book"How to win friends and influence people". 

Abraham Lincoln was in the habit of criticizing and ridiculing people.He used to write letters and poems as anonymous criticizing and ridiculing people and drop these letters on the roads of the city where these would surely be found or publish them in newspapers.

Abraham Lincoln became a practicing lawyer in Springfield and in autumn of 1842 he wrote a letter as a anonymous ridiculing a proud,bellicose politician, James Shields .This letter turned out to be a bone of contention between Lincoln and Shields.Lincoln published that letter in the Springfield journal.After reading that letter in newspaper, peoples of the town laughed their head off.Shields boiled with anger and found out that Lincoln wrote the letter.Shields leaped on his horse started after Lincoln and challenged him to fight a duel. Lincoln was not in the favour of fighting but to save his honour he had to agree for fight.Lincoln was given the choice of weapons ,due to his long arms he chose cavalry broadswords and took training in swords fighting from a west point graduate.On the day of the fight ,they met on the bank of Mississippi river and a death was sure on that day but their colleagues interrupted and stopped the fight.

This was the most frightful incident in Lincoln's life but he learnt an invaluable lesson in the art of dealing with people.After that incident Lincoln never wrote a insulting letter and never criticized ,ridiculed anybody for anything.He removed the word "criticize" from his dictionary.

During the civil war,Lincoln appointed new general from time time for the Potomac army and each one in turn -McClellan,pope,Burnside,Hooker,Meade-blundered tragically and make Lincoln to walk on the floor in despair but he held his peace and didn't criticize any generals.One of his favorite quotations was "judge not,that ye be not judged".

Whenever Lincoln's wife and other people spoke harshly of the other people,Lincoln replied:'don't criticize them,they are just what we would be under similar circumstances'.but Lincoln had every occasion to criticize people ,we can understand this just by one illustration: the battle of Gettysburg was fought during the first 3 days of July 1863. During the night of July 4 general "Lee"begin to move back in southward. Wild storm clouds Deluged the country with rain. When Lee reached the Potomac with his defeated army he found a swollen impossible river in front of him and  victorious union army was behind him.Lee was trapped from all sides and there was no way to escape. Lincoln understood that the situation was in his favour and was a golden, heaven- sent opportunity- the opportunity to capture Lee's army and end the war immediately so with this hope Lincoln ordered general "Meade" not to call a council of war and attack lee immediately. Lincoln telegraphed  his orders and sent a special messenger to "Meade" demanding immediate action.But general Meade took action just opposite to that he was told. Violating Lincoln's orders general "Meade" called a council of war.He was hesitating to attack Lee and telegraphed Lincoln by making excuses that lee escaped over the river with his army.Lincoln boiled with anger and yelling in-front of his son that" God ,what does it mean?"the ball was in our court ,we had to only stretch our hand to catch them.Still we did not catch him.Under such circumstances,almost any general could have defeated lee.If I had gone up there,I would have whipped him myself.

Desperate Lincoln wrote a letter to general Meade full of criticism in 1863. What do you think that what general Meade felt after reading that letter?Actually Meade did not get this letter because Lincoln did not mail that letter.Lincoln had put that letter aside.This letter was found among Lincoln's papers after his death.

According to Lincoln's past experiences sharp criticism and rebuke are useless and no one is benefited from criticism,that's why he did not mail that letter to Meade because Lincoln's knew that he was writing that letter in bitter disappointment and he did not know that what was the situation in front of Meade even if he was there and if he had seen as much blood as Meade saw and if his ears  had been pierced with the screams  of the wounded and dying,maybe he would not be so anxious to attack either.

He was the same Lincoln who did not hesitate to criticize and ridicule people some years back but after that fatal incident with pugnacious politician he changed himself and started believe in peace.

If you also criticize,rebuke and ridicule others, don't wait for such a fatal situation to change yourself.

8 books for self improvement

Why should we read books and what are the benefits of reading?Instead of  wasting time in social media and building castles in the air we can learn something new by reading some great books which will help us to improve our-self and for better development of our-self. 

Most of  the self-made billionaire read at least 2 book in a month. Bill gates richest person in the world also reads one book in a week.Warren Buffett used to read 600  to 1000 pages in his early days  and almost every successful person read book even after they have come off with flying colors. Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg etc they all read books.

 There are many benefits of reading books like they help us to increase our concentration, intelligence and it is proved  from many research that reading books help us to reduce stress levels and make us to feel good.

So, I will share 8 popular books which can help us to turn over a new leaf.

1.THE POWER OF HABIT by Charles Duhigg

  This book will help you to form New habits and how to to replace your bad habits with good ones.In The Power of Habit,award-winning new york times journalist Charles Duhigg takes us to the thrilling edge of scientific discoveries to explain why habits exist,and how they can be changed-to transform businesses,communities,and our lives. We all know that forming good habits is not a easy task but once they are formed our life becomes easy and comfortable ,on the other hand forming bad habits are very easy but ones formed they will make our life very difficult. Through this book,We can learn forming good habits, the author Charles Duhigg has explained many great principles that are of great value .

2.HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE  by Dale Carnegie

This book will help us to:-

 Get out of a mental rut, think new thoughts ,acquire new visions ,discover new ambitions.

Make friends quickly and easily.

Increase your popularity.

Win people to your way of thinking.

Increase your influence, your prestige, your ability to get things done.

Handle complaints avoid arguments keep your human contacts smooth and  pleasant.

Become a better speaker.

3.THINK AND GROW RICH by Napoleon Hill

This is the most popular book under self-help category. Andrew Carnegie who was the richest person of his time once give an interesting offer to hill,he told him that he will help him to meet world's most successful and rich people who have done great in their life after that he has to gather all their wisdom and knowledge and then create a philosophical book from it and this book should be of such power that after reading it any common man can acquire the power of a becoming  successful and great but for this he will not pay him just help in meeting nothing else. Napoleon accepted this offer within a minute after which he spent 20 years of his life gathering wisdom  knowledge to make a book "think and grow rich" .There are many useful and important principles in this book.

  

4.HOW TO STOP WORRYING AND START LIVING by Dale Carnegie

 Worry affects everyone and descends with ease on work, 💰 money, family life and relationships. This book offers practical strategies for breaking out of this destructive habit, before it breaks you.

Dale Carnegie shows how worry has been conquered by thousands, some famous, but most just ordinary people and offer practical suggestions for leading a more positive and enjoyable life.

5.THE 7 HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE by Stephen R. Covey

This is one of the popular self-help book that you will love to read it again and again. This book provide us the great habits of most successful and effective people that they have in them which even we all should  have in ourselves as they will be the master keys for a great life and for success.

6. THE 4 -HOUR WORK WEEK by Timothy Ferriss

This is a very famous and inspiring book, after reading this book you will understand that you can come out of your boring job life easily, and by doing smart work you can even earn a lot of money, that too while traveling the world without tension or stress.This book has  very valuable lessons .Don’t judge this book by its title, this book actually contains very useful concepts and points, that can help you to start your online business.

                              

7. RICH DAD POOR DAD by Robert T.Kiyosaki

In this book author Robert Kiyosaki is giving us some very important financial advice by giving his life examples, where he is saying that he had two fathers,  One was his real father who was a professor and was a poor dad, whereas his second father was his friend’s father, who was his rich dad, and in this book his rich dad is teaching him how to become successful and rich, and how by following the principles and teachings of this rich dad the author himself become a millionaire, this book  will help you to learn many valuable facts.

8. START WITH WHY by Simon Sinek

This book is about a naturally occurring pattern ,a way of thinking,acting and communicating that gives some leaders the ability to inspire those around them.Although these"natural-born leaders" may have come into the world with a predisposition to inspire,the ability is not reserved for them exclusively.we can all learn this pattern.with a little discipline,any leader or organisation can inspire others,both inside and outside their organization,to help advance their ideas and their vision.We can all learn to lead.

This was the list of some good life changeable books and if you are not in the habit of reading book ,then make up your mind for reading and make it your daily habit. In starting do not set a big target of completing book by leaps and bounds (like in a single day or in 2-3 days ),this big target will be nipped in the bud .So start with a small goal of completing at least one page in a day to avoid the feeling of boredom.You can start with any of the above books and just after reading one book you will be in high spirits.

Monotheism

Monotheism,where people only worship one god and belief in the existence of one god and do not worship other religions god .

Polytheism,the belief in existence of many gods.

What is wrong with worshipping other god that you don't follow and going to their places.

Don't you touch the legs of other's parent,relatives and take their blessings when you meet them.

Or do you take blessings from your parents only?

 I don't think so that someone only take blessings from their parents and don't touch the feet of their relatives.

If you are the one who don't take blessings from relatives and your elder one's then you are monotheist and I have no words for you.

If you are not then what is wrong with worshipping and visiting the god  you are not following.

The god you are following are like your parents and you can take blessings from others gods as blessings from your relatives.

How to win friends and influence people

Hello everyone today I will share some principles of book "how to win friends and influence people" by dale Carnegie


- Don't criticise, condemn or complain
Criticism is unprofitable because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself.criticism is dangerous,because it wounds a person's precious pride,hurts his sense of importance,and arouses resentment.
Instead of condemning people ,try to understand them.

-Remember name
The name sets the individual apart,it makes him or her unique among all others .
Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.

-Be a good listener.
Encourage others to talk about themselves.
People you are talking to are a hundred times more interested in themselves and their wants and problems than they are in you and your problems.So, be a good listener ,give chance to others to talk about themselves.

-Become genuinely interested in other people
if you want others to like you ,if you want to develop real friendships,if you want to help others at the same time as you help yourself, keep this principle in mind.

-Smile
your smile is a messenger of your good will,your smile brightens the lives of all who see it.

these are the some principles by dale carnegie . To understand all the principles,you can read this book.